How to Help Abused Women
If you know a woman in an abusive relationship, you probably recognize it long before she does. Most abused women are “conditioned” to the abuse, which means in the beginning of their relationship they were showered with love and attention that later turned to control, isolation, and finally abuse. Helping them is often difficult, but definitely not impossible.
- Take note of any of your female
friends that have suddenly stopped calling or are always making
excuses not to hang out. Especially note if this began after they
engaged in a whirlwind romance with someone that seemed too perfect.
It could be he is keeping her isolated, which is mind-control and
that is when the abuse normally begins. - Reach out to someone you think may
be in an abusive relationship by calling them when you know their
boyfriend or husband is at work or away from the home. If this is
not an option, try sending an email, but make it generic because if
he is really controlling, he could be reading her email. If she
responds, then you can ask her to call you when she can. The point
of reaching out is to get her to trust you and let her know she can
turn to you for help. - Meet her at her job. If it is a
friend or a family member that works, go to her on the job, as this
may be the only place you can talk to her without the abuser being
present. Do not pounce on her by telling her she needs to leave the
jerk, as this will only make her defensive. - Keep in mind that many abused
women still “think” they love the abuser. Rather take it in baby
steps, just visit with her on her lunch breaks, tell her you miss
her, and continue going to see her. Make sure she has all your
contact information. As you gain her trust, she will reach out to
you and then you'll be able to help her take the necessary steps to
get out of the relationship.