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How are YOU doing? That's a question many take for granted. It seems so simple and easy
to answer, yet do you answer in the manner the question was asked? "Fine thanks." Do youmean it?

We see and work with people every day and it's polite to ask and answer that question but
there was one time I remember being asked and I blew it off and answered the usual. To my surprise, I was asked again...this time it changed how I truly felt that day!

My daughter was diagnosed with epilepsy when she was six. Without going into a great deal
of detail, we were seeing a doctor who really didn't have the greatest bedside manner and I always felt I was more of a burden than anything else. I was trying to find help for mygirl and all they kept doing was adding med after med and ordering tests but never reallycared how this was affecting the family. I finally changed doctors and made an appointmentto see Dr. Flamini at the Children's Epilepsy Center. I got his name from the EpilepsyFoundation of Georgia and it proved to be the BEST move I ever made!

The day came for our first appointment and Dr. F walks in the room. We sit at a small
table and my daughter sits on the examining table. Dr. F asks me how I'm doing and I go in to all we've been through and how she's doing when he stops me, looks me in the eye,and asks again, "no, how are YOU doing?" I was completely speechless, and if you knew me,you'd know how rare that is! Anyway, I'd never had a doctor ask that as though he or shereally meant it before. So, for the next 30 minutes, I answered him. Crying through someof it just grateful to get out the frustration of not being able to control her seizures, the feeling of loss because she was so angry and violent much of the time, realizationof how our lives were never going to be what a mother dreams...so much emotion! I felt amillion times better and asked him why he cared how I felt. He said "you are her caregiverand as her doctor, I have a responsibility to make sure you are getting the support youneed now and will need as she grows up."

People don't realize how exhausting and all-consuming it is to have someone to care for
who has a chronic illness. My daughter will never be a fully functional adult, but youyou know what? She is still my beautiful girl! She's 19 now and going to graduate from High School. Dr. F is still her doctor and I wouldn't have it any other way!

The next time you ask someone "how are you", take the time to really mean it and listen to
what they may not say out loud but will be grateful you cared enough to ask!

Happy blogging and have a great day!

Sherri