Elder Care Conversation During Holiday Visits
As Kelly drove from the airport to her parents’ house, she thought, "I bet Mom will be making gingerbread." But as she pulled into the driveway, she was shocked to see that the grass was uncut, several days' mail was in the mailbox and when Dad came to the door, it was obvious that the house needed a good cleaning. Mom, always so meticulously dressed, was still in her housecoat. Kelly realized that Mom had downplayed the effects of the stroke she’d suffered six months earlier—and it was obvious that Dad was struggling in his role as caregiver. Something needed to be done!
When families live at a distance from elderly loved ones, holiday visits can be a real eye-opener. Friends and relatives who live nearby may have already alerted them to changes in their loved one’s condition and needs. But often, the changes take them by surprise. "We talked every week and Dad never said a word!" reported Kelly. This is common: Seniors can be fiercely protective of their independence and may downplay the challenges they are facing. They don’t want to worry their families. They may fear "becoming a burden."
If the above describes your situation, take some time during your visit to learn about solutions that support well-being for seniors. Home care agencies report that inquiry calls increase during December and January, when families realize their loved ones need assistance to be safe and healthy at home. These experts remind families of warning signs and resources that can help:
Home safety. Has your parents’ home kept up with their needs? Mobility challenges, memory changes and sensory impairment might mean that the home is no longer safe and convenient. A geriatric care manager or rehabilitation therapist can suggest appropriate home repairs and modifications. For many families, professional in-home care is also part of the home safety strategy. In-home caregivers keep the home in good order, remove hazards that could cause falls and provide ongoing housekeeping. In-home caregivers can come in for a few hours each week, or up to full-time.
Nutrition. Arthritis, osteoporosis, Alzheimer’s disease, sensory impairment and many other common health conditions cause a loss of appetite and make it hard to prepare and eat nourishing meals. Many seniors rely on packaged and ready-to-eat foods that are high in fat and sodium, but low in nutrients. Decreased nutrition then makes health problems even worse. This is a dangerous cycle for many older adults. If you suspect this is happening to a senior loved one, check into Meals on Wheels and other senior nutrition support programs in the area. In-home caregivers also support senior nutrition by planning and preparing nutritious meals that meet clients’ preferences and dietary needs.
Emotional well-being. Does your loved one seem lonely? Does she get out less than before? Does he leave the TV on all day for company? The changes of aging, health problems and the loss of friends can keep seniors cooped up at home alone and inactive, raising the risk of depression and inactivity. Look into senior activities and transportation options in your loved one’s community. In-home caregivers provide companionship, assistance getting out and about, supervision during exercise and an extra measure of confidence to encourage your loved one to be socially active.
Compliance with the healthcare provider’s instructions. Many seniors are dealing with multiple health challenges, which might include heart disease, diabetes, osteoporosis, arthritis, Alzheimer’s disease and other conditions that are more common as we grow older. Taking medications correctly, going to healthcare appointments and following the doctor’s recommendation for exercise, diet and self-care all promote the best possible well-being for senior patients. But juggling the medical regimen for several conditions can be daunting! Your loved one’s doctor can suggest strategies to improve compliance. For many seniors, trainedin-home caregivers make all the difference, taking clients to doctor appointments, helping with medication management, assisting with home monitoring and supporting the doctor’s recommendations for exercise and diet.
Legal and financial concerns. During your visit, be alert for signs that your loved one is having trouble keeping up with bills and paperwork. Especially when a senior is living with Alzheimer’s or other dementia, family often want to step in to serve in a formal or informal role. But these conversations can be difficult. Consider bringing an elder law attorney or geriatric care manager into the discussion. In-home caregivers also provide support, helping clients sort through the mail and other paperwork and communicating with family members who live at a distance. It is important to choose a caregiver through a reputable agency whose employees are background-checked and supervised.
An elder care plan works best if everyone is on board. Include all family members involved, bring in professional help if necessary and above all, include your loved one as fully as possible in the decision-making process at every step.
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Right at Home, Inc. is a national organization dedicated to improving the quality of life for those we serve. We fulfill that mission through a dedicated network of locally owned, franchised providers of in-home care services.
