How to Prepare Funeral Services

Preparing funeral services is a task that is important as a means of making sure loved ones have a chance to say goodbye to the recently departed.  Planning the actual service requires attention to detail, including observing the wishes of the deceased as well as those left behind.

1. Find out if the deceased left any guidelines regarding the funeral service.  Some people actually plan the services, down to instructions on how long a visitation should last, hymns and readings for the service, and even preferences for who will officiate at the service.  In situations of this type, the planning process becomes much easier, since you know what to do already.


2. Discuss options with loved ones of the deceased.  Keep in mind that the funeral service is often more for those who are left behind than anyone else.  Depending on local culture and the combination of relatives and other loved ones involved, it can be much easier to get an idea of whether the funeral needs to be highly structured or if something that is more casual, yet still respectful would be appropriate.


3. Talk with the funeral director.  Many funeral homes can provide suggestions and guidelines for the actual arrangement of the funeral service itself, and help with making arrangements for someone to play a musical instrument and even to locate someone to officiate if necessary.  It is not unusual for directors to have on file suggested orders of service that range from the elaborate to the simple, making it easy to get some great ideas on what to include.


4. Consider the faith stance of the deceased.  If the recently departed is a member of a house of worship that is associated with a particular faith, seek out clergy or worship leaders within that tradition for information about any special requirements in terms of liturgies or rites that should be included in the funeral service. If appropriate, involve the clergy in the actual planning, especially if the service will take place at a house of worship rather than at the funeral home or the graveside.


5. Consider the costs.  While many people do not like to think of cost when a death has occurred, it is important to think in terms of the costs for a clergyperson to participate in the service, the contributions of musicians for the music part of the service, and even small details such as the rental of the actual site for the service itself.  Keep the expenses in line with the wishes of the deceased, if they are known, as well as with the ability of the family or loved ones to pay for those expenses.