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Three Secrets to Change
Three Secrets to Lasting Change Over our years of working with people whether it be marriages, addictions, teens, depression, or any other presenting issue, we have seen that there are three pillars that an individual must have in their life in order to support change. Before they can even establish these pillars, they must first have a strong desire for change. Without having that first, it is unlikely they will do what is needed to establish these pillars. The first pillar is community. We live in a culture that greatly promotes individuality and differentiation. Media and social networks work more to isolate us than connect us. We are starved for good healthy community. We need people in our lives who know us in a deep and vulnerable way. Community can bring about significant healing (12 step addiction groups understand this very well). Community can be hard to create. Though you may have been hurt in the past by this community, the church can be a great place to start finding community as it is easy to plug into a small group of couples or individuals. The second pillar is accountability. This cannot exist unless you first have a community around you that will hold you accountable to the changes you need. Counseling can help with this pillar, but others are needed in your life to be a support throughout the week. There have been so many times that we have been working with someone and discovered that if they had only had a solid community around them with real accountability, they would not have gone down the roads they chose in their individual lives or marriages. The third and most important pillar is Jesus Christ. Now that name may cause you to stop reading this or at the very least cause you to raise an eyebrow, but there is no question for us that of the hundreds and hundreds of couples and individuals that we have worked with, the most profound and lasting changes have come to those who have a transformation in their lives through seeking the love, grace and forgiveness of Jesus. We work with clients that are followers of Jesus and clients who are not and both are able to achieve growth and healing in their lives. But those who open their hearts to Jesus in a new way while going through counseling in addition to reaching out to community and seeking accountability experience the most exciting change that we have ever been privileged to witness. These are the three secrets/pillars to significant change that we have seen inside and outside of the counseling room. If you would like more information on connecting with a counselor and seeking change in your life please feel free to connect with us via email atolivercounseling@gmail.comor online atwww.olivercounseling.com.
Can People Change?
“How many counselors does it take to change a light bulb? Only one, but the light bulb really has to want to change.” Forgive us for the corny joke, but we state it because there is a great deal of truth in it. When it comes to any true transformation (whether it be addiction, marriage, anxiety, eating disorder, etc.), the greatest indicator of success is the true level of a person’s desire to change. Many come to counseling skeptical of the idea that people can really change. We have heard phrases like “once a cheater always a cheater”, “can’t teach an old dog new tricks”, “we’ve tried that and we are still the same”. The hurts and wounds of life can cause you to become cynical of the idea that great change can actually take place.The fact is that people do change. We get to see it every week. Sometimes they change incrementally over a long period of time and sometimes exponentially over a short period of time. It is clear when someone sitting in front of us is truly invested in the counseling process. Those who do the work both in session and outside of session are able to clearly see the powerful effect that their desire for growth and change can have. Change obviously takes more than just desire. It takes direction, tools, community and accountability. However, desire is the key component. Desire leads to openness and perseverance. Openness and perseverance lead to hope. There is hope for change in your life. Please feel free to contact us anytime atwww.olivercounseling.comto pursue the changes that you desire to make in your life.
New Year's Resolutions
According to a survey of 3,000 participants, 88 percent of all New Year’s resolutions end in failure. Resolving yourself to pursue a healthy change in your life is very important in beginning to achieve sustained growth. However, you are most likely to achieve that healthy change if you begin today. Waiting for a certain date in the future greatly decreases the likelihood of you being successful at achieving what you have resolved yourself to. Start today. Not next week, or after next month’s vacation, or after your birthday, or after the holidays, etc. You want to set yourself up for success. In addition to starting today, you need to make the change you want measurable and accomplishable. Focus on one key area of growth and succeed there first, than work on the others. The most important thing you can do is communicate your resolution to others. Community and accountability are essential aspects of any real and lasting change. If you try to be a lone ranger, you will most likely fail. If you wait for a certain date, you will most likely fail. If you try to do everything at once, you will most likely fail. If you do not clearly define what success looks like with what you have resolved yourself to, you will most likely fail. New Year’s is a great time to reflect on the past year and set goals for the next year. You can achieve great change and health in this year. You can heal in your marriage, you can overcome addiction, you can be more kind and patient, you can forgive, you can seek out a new career and calling, and you can achieve greater physical, mental and emotional health. Start today, seek out community and accountability, and clearly define your goals. For more information on resolutions or to schedule an appointment with Nathan Oliver or Amy Oliver to begin the process of change and transformation in your life, please contact us at www.olivercounseling.com